So, my last post was kind of dramatic, but I’ll be totally honest and admit I was heading for a breakdown. Anyway, I’m in a slightly better place now and life carries on doesn’t it? I suppose that’s annoying and reassuring in equal measure. That the world pays no attention to you when you are struggling, but also that despite the fact you feel like the world is ending, it doesn’t and one day when you are ready to return to it you’ll probably be mighty glad it didn’t end after all.
If there is one thing I have learnt over the passed few weeks, is that rejoicing in the little things may just be the key to overall happiness, especially when you can’t control the big things. That can be really hard to do at times with ADHD, because your brain only tends to see the big picture and looks ahead towards the next big thing.
“Somtimes, it’s so annoying when people think a positive attitude can solve your problems. I hate to admit it, but they might be right.
ADHD GIRL
Yet it’s only by looking at the little things that make us happy that we can manage some of the bigger things that may be beyond our control. I probably sound like some kind of loved up hippy writing this, but the truth is I’ve lived it over the past few weeks. There are some things in my life that I can’t control but focusing on my own well being and what I can control has made a huge difference.
Looking at the bigger picture I suppose the saying play to your strengths is quite appropriate. Imagine, if when we were at school, the teacher focused on what we could do well instead of just trying to give us an overview. I have long since known that I will never be a dancer because I lack the grace and elegance of it. That doesn’t mean I can’t dance for fun, but I don’t consider dancing to be my purpose, because if it was I’d probably be a lot better at it.
There is too much focus on what people with ADHD can’t do, for example we can’t concentrate for too long, we can’t stop talking, we can’t stop ourselves overthinking…the list goes on and on, but what can we do? Well we can be extremely creative, because we have the ability to think of lots of things at once, we can make others feel better with our bubbly and friend personalities. Heck, I’ve even had someone told me once that she was glad I’m a talker because I feel those awkward silences that she hates so much.
“We live in a society that is much more focused on what you can’t do through comparisson that it is about valuing individuality and what we can do.
ADHD gIRL
An old Japanese proverb states that we all have two wolves inside of us: a light wolf and a dark wolf. The difference is the one that you feed the most, which one you make stronger in other words. For far too long society has made us out to be victims of our own circumstances. They have done this through the press, the political system and the general promotion of the culture of entitlement. With this, we have started to look at what society can do for us instead of what we can offer it. Obviously there has to be a balance of these two for social integration and justice to take place. My point is if we don’t think about what we can offer society, we tend to forget that we have something to offer at all.
I want to reassure you today, that no matter who you are, what you do, no matter how bad your ADHD is, you are valuable in ways you can’t even imagine. Even if you’ve been made to feel like your ADHD is a curse because you’ve never received the right support or understanding. Trust me, I know it’s hard to thrive in a society that focuses on what we can’t do, but you have so much more to offer than you’ve been led to believe. I would encourage to look at what you can do well, everybody has something and just because you’ve not been given chance to explore that or play to your strengths doesn’t mean you don’t have any. Even if your strength is having superhuman empathy; it matters, probably today more than ever.
As I guess you can tell from this blog article, I am in a much better place than I was a week ago, but nothing about my circumstances has changed. I’ve just purposefully shifted my focus, which I guess is ironic for someone with ADHD, but it really can make all the difference.
