You wouldn’t believe how many people still seem to think that ADHD is just a term for bad parenting, that it doesn’t exist. I’m sorry, but until you have it and have to put up with having an ADHD brain on a regular basis then you don’t really get to have that opinion.
There are brilliant doctors, scientists and academic who state that there is a ton of evidence for ADHD existing and anybody who has ever loved anybody with ADHD would tell you the same. It’s not just a lack of external discipline (bad parenting), it’s a lack of internal discipline (the brain).
“I nearly jumped up out of my chair and shouted ‘Yes I do'”
ADHD Girl
I actually once overheard a teacher stating in a school staff room quite openly that ‘The child doesn’t have ADHD, it’s just the parents. ADHD doesn’t exist.’ I nearly jumped up and shouted ‘Yes I do’ but I was a student on placement at the time and felt like saying something might have seriously damaged my chances of passing the course.
One of my own family members actually told me the same thing many years ago. Though, I think they were just trying to be hurtful at the time (they knew I had it), it still hurts when those close to you share those kinds of views. That your struggles are not real, that you just need to learn to conform better….do they not think we’ve already tried that?
My parents were really strict with me as a child, not strict to the point of they wouldn’t let me do anything, but they were firmer than most parents in terms of allowing me to get away with things or making sure I carried out my responsibilities. Though I resented it at the time, I have since come to realise that strict parenting can actually be good for children with ADHD. Not good as in it’s a cure, but good as in it is one of many different methods that can make a big difference.
“Not good as in it’s a cure, but good as in it is one of the many different methods that can make a big difference.”
ADHD Girl
My point is, if ADHD was a result of bad parenting, then I wouldn’t have it. My parents are far from perfect people, but they did raise me well, because when I look at all I have achieved, and what I have done, how can they not have? Good parenting is not a cure for ADHD, but it does mean that someone who has ADHD can thrive better and can overcome almost anything.
