Note: Hey ADHDers and Allies! Sorry about the radio silence next week, I was in a difficult place between my S.A.D and PMS, but I’m back next and ready to tell you about you about how a little bit of understanding and kindness totally made our Belfast holiday great!
After an early morning flight we arrived at our hotel in central Belfast fiarly early, but we were told early check-in was not available (I would have been happy to pay extra just to freshen up) so we stored our luggage. We got back about 3pm feeling exhausted from our early start and were checked in at reception with no issues fairly quickly. Yet when used the key card to open the door to our room I was suddenly horrified by the bed situation. There was only one double bed and one single, which you can understand is a bit of an issue when you’re one adult and two children.
“Because I use organisation to cope with the unexpected, it means that when something of relevant importance unexpectantly happens it tends to completely throw me emotionally.”
ADHD Girl
Usually when we stay at this hotel chain, we always book a family room and we’ve always had a double bed with two singles so I couldn’t understand why we didn’t all have a bed each (surely that should be the norm in any hotel room; one bed per person right? Except romantic couples!) My children are getting older and in my opinion should not be sharing a bed, they are a boy and a girl. I also sleep on a double bed at home so it would have been a downgrade for me to sleep in a single bed for four nights on holiday.
After telling the children not to touch anything and marching straight back down to reception I relayed the issue to the guy on reception who had originally checked us in. He was polite and friendly, but to be frank didn’t seem all that interested merely replying that they were fully booked. The combination of exhaustion, unexpectated circumstances despite being organised and the disinterest I was comfronted with, quickly made the situation escelated from bad to worse.
“Looking back I definitely could have dealt with the situation a lot better, but reflection and hindsight are wonderful things.”
I pointed out that I had received an email confirmation for a quad room and that there was no way my children would be sharing a bed. At this point a woman came up to the desk and stepped in. Firstly, she told me not to be stressed, well no offence but I don’t know any stressed person who has calmed down when their stress is pointed out to them. I explained that I have ADHD, that I’m a foster parent and I had been super organised in booking the room, and if I had known about this in advance I would have sorted this.
Recognising my neurodivegency, she suddenly adopted a calmer attitude, put ther hand on mine and said “What’s your name?” I told her my name (that’s ADHD Girl to you guys!). She replied “Nice to meet you [insert any name here], my name is Debbie. Please don’t worry, we will get you sorted if you just give us ten minutes.” Within fifteen minutes we were relaxing in our own individual beds (mine being a double obviously!).
“The fact Debbie treated me like a human being worthy of being given the correct support, made all the difference. I felt seen, heard and accepted.”
ADHD Girl
I’m not normally one to instantly tell everyone I meet that I have ADHD, because I usually can get by right and not everybody needs to know. However, I really felt at that time, that they needed to understand why the different room dynamic had sent me into a complete meltdown. It’s not that I’m entitled because hey I know it comes across as a bit of a first world problem, but it was more being confronted by something totally unexpected in an unfamilar place after I’d put so much time and effort into being organised (I’ve said time and time again; external organisation is my biggest coping strategy to manage my ADHD).
That being said I’m so glad I did divulge that I have ADHD to that member of staff because suddenly she understand that I needed not just perhaps a little more support or reasurance, but a totally different approach to that perhaps used with other hotel guests. I got raised in the ‘just get on with it generation’ and while there is a strong argument for what that can be a good thing at times, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that it’s ok to admit that our brains our different and that the level or type of support we need may differ to that of a neurotypical person.
“It’s not a weakness to say you need support, if anything it’s a strength because it’s showing you are aware of what you need”
The older I get, the more comfortable I feel about accepting myself for who I am, ADHD support needed and all, because let’s face it, the only one who has to live my life journey is me. Why wouldn’t I want to be as comfortable as possible throughout it? Part of being comfortable is getting the support needed to manage and succeed.
Thanks for reading ADHDers and Allies! Moving forward I think I’ll be updating the blog every two weeks, just until March, when I should be over my side. It should also give me much more to talk about while being able to keep up with the podcast and also make some website updates. Take care everyone and remember, you’re the only one who gets to live your life, so do right by yourself!
