This week I’ve been trying to figure out why every single time the school holidays roll around I feel like some kind of brain-dead zombie. I’ve tried to be kind to myself in this respect, because having had no biological children, I got thrown full force into parenting with no guidebook when I began fostering. Obviously, I do have some knowledge having worked with children and being a former education lecturer, but nothing can prepare you for the tiredness, the frustration or sheer terror of what parenting really is.
Yet, now I’m starting to think the fact that I feel brain dead every school holiday might have less to do with being exhausted or suffering from brain burn out and more to do with the fact that my routine is massively disrupted. I’ve done previous blog articles on how we ADHDers thrive off routine for various reasons, one of them is being overwhelmed by decisions and another is because it gives us a structure to work with no matter how much we dislike it.
However, I never considered that when taken out of my routine, or my comfort zone so to speak, that my brain might try to fight back. Bear with me on this, if my brain thrives off routine then taking it out routine may just have the opposite effect. Maybe me feeling brain dead every school holiday is my brain saying ‘actually this doesn’t really work for me so I’m out’
Of course, routine can only get you so far when you have young children because lets face it stuff happens which throws you and there is nothing you can do except try to control the chaos. The funny thing is I’ve always said I’m one of those people who likes to go with the flow and thrive on being spontaneous, but when the pedal hits the metal it would appear that I like many others near a delicate balance of what works for me versus what makes me work.
“It’s one of the hardest things to be able to do; finding the balance between pushing yourself and just being kind. It’s even harder when you have ADHD.ADHD Girl
So how can I balance this out? How do I slowly but surely lure my brain back into activated mode? Well I’m not sure I have the answer, but I know little and often is probably better than nothing at all. For me; it’s having a focus and deadlines to meet which keeps me accountable. For example; my third book will be out in the next few months so a little while back I emailed my editor and told her I would have the book to her by the beginning of May. Just by doing that I know that no matter what happens I have to hit that deadline.
Of course, there are still some days where I don’t get much done. Yesterday for example; I think I literally edited a paragraph, which while good, when you’re trying to edit a 95,000 word novel only makes a little dent. I just have to remind myself that like everyone I will have good days and bad in terms of productivity. Today, I’m writing this article from a jungle gym, which means while the kids play I have no choice but to get on my laptop and hopefully edit as much as I can, which reminds me I should be getting back to it. Here’s hoping my brains on my side today.