I’m Coming Clean!

Cleaning: some people love it, and others hate it, but for me I’m caught somewhere in the middle that not many people talk about. The place where you really want to love cleaning, that it would make your life a whole lot easier if you were actually any good at it but hate it because the very thought of it feels you with anxiety.

“With ADHD, we make so many great connections that other people just don’t see.”

ADHD Girl

I’m not sure if this is an ADHD thing or a me thing, but I get very overwhelmed by cleaning for two major reasons 1. I overthink the hell out of it….everything from what I need to do to using, what I need to be doing, to what people will think when they see it. 2. I haven’t got good attention to detail.

With ADHD, it’s all about the bigger picture, that’s why we make so many great connections, that other people just haven’t got to yet. The problem is when you see the bigger picture you also see the endless possibilities that come with it as well. That’s what leads to the anxiety.

People with ADHD are by nature unorganised and messy. Before I went to university, my organisation was nonexistence. Now many of my friends and family would describe me as super organised and it feels me with pleasure. It’s not something I’m natural at, but something I’ve learned to put in place gradual. Of course, being organised makes me life so much easier, but I still need my diary, reminders on my phone, alarms going off, sticky notes etc.

“Don’t get me wrong; I tidy constantly and I love putting things in their proper place.”

ADHD Girl

 Cleaning on the other hand, there are not really any major ways of breaking that down. Except for doing it one room at a time, which gets kind of tedious when you have a whole house to clean and children which live in the house. Don’t get me wrong, I tidy constantly, and I love putting things in their proper place, but it’s the bathroom cleaning, mopping, hovering etc. That 1. I never have time for and 2. Drain the life out of me in terms of worrying about how and when I can do them.

So, I have a confession to make, I’m finally coming clean, a few weeks ago, I hired a cleaner. When the idea first occurred to me, I was filled with a deep sense of guilt. Surely, I should be able to clean my own house? Am I really that lazy?

“Would hiring a cleaner get the job done?”

ADHD Girl

Then I stopped myself and re-thought it through. Would hiring a cleaner get the job done? Would it reduce my worry and anxiety? Would it mean the children are assured a consistently clean house? If the answer to these questions was yes, then what was actually the problem?

 If I’m being honest, I think the issue is/ was my pride! No one likes to admit they can’t do something for themselves or their kids, but if my pride is getting in the way of my family being happy, or my house being tidy then it’s probably best to swallow it, even if it sometimes means admitting defeat on something that comes as simply to many as cleaning.