Sorry for the non-article last week, to be completely honest it just get away from me amongst the mist of birthday party planning combined with planning for the end of the school year. Have you ever planned something out in your head, then tucked it away, only to go back to it nearer the time you need it and have a complete meltdown? I’d be very surprised if you’ve got ADHD and that hasn’t happened to you.
When people think of meltdowns, they either think of a screaming toddler in a supermarket or perhaps somebody with autism. Us ADHDers sadly get forgotten about for this sort of thing but when you consider the fact that emotional regulation is more difficult for us, that our brains think of many potential outcomes at a very fast pace and we often get stuck in the ‘freeze’ phase of flight or fight mode (sometimes known as ADHD paralysis) then it’s not hard to understand why a complete meltdown wouldn’t be unreasonable.
“A lot of people don’t get how exhausting it is to have ADHD or the emotional overwhelm that comes with it.”
ADHD Girl
One of my kids had a birthday party and I knew what food I had to get, I knew what presents I had to wrap, and I’d planned my schedule down to the last detail. Cue me going shopping, deciding I had to get the teachers gifts at the same time and bordering on having a meltdown in the car as the overwhelming organisation and emotions associated with it all came crashing to the surface. Most of us don’t know we’re heading for a meltdown and instead we drive ourselves forward at a fast pace, living in ignorance.
What does a meltdown look like for ADHD? Well every person is different! For some it’s merely refusing to engage with anybody or anything then snapping when anybody tries to get them to do something. It could be a full-on burst of emotions that come out in violence or simply excessive movement. For me, it results on my poor friends getting a full on voice note rant with some questionable choice of words, me screaming and bashing the steering wheel in anger and then once I calm down I feel rather embarrassed, like I overacted.
“Meltdowns are a brains way of trying to tell us something, it’s important that we listen.”
ADHD Girl
If we as adults struggle contain big emotions, even those without additional needs, then how much more sympathy we should for ADHD kids who can’t even make sense of the world around them, let alone make sense of what their feeling or how to manage it.
I suppose the moral of the story is this; meltdowns can be ok, they are your brains way of telling you, that you are doing too much and that you need to take some time to be kind to yourself, which to be honest is advice we all need to take I think.
I’ll be taking a break for a few weeks after next week as I try to navigate our family holiday and keep my kids entertained throughout the summer holidays, wish me luck and no meltdowns, from them or me.
