Anyone look at the person standing next to them and think ‘why aren’t you more excited?’ Like I know some people who can be in the most amazing places or doing the most amazing things, who say they are excited but generally have a face that says the opposite. Sound familiar? (Of course I’m not referring to people with Autism or have a genuine social difficulty).
I’ve always been told that I have bubbly personality, something which I attribute to my ADHD. You know my brain is bouncing so, so am I? Yet sometimes it’s difficult to be around people who aren’t as emotionally open. By emotionally open I don’t mean I expect strangers to tell me everything, though I do that on occasion just because well ADHD (sighs).
I just mean that sometimes it’s exhausted being around people who perhaps keep their guard up or wear a mask when it comes to their emotions. The thing is these people don’t see themselves as guarded or wearing a mask, because it’s so part oof their nature. Afterall why should you offer your heart to strangers on a platter. We live in a very difficult time culturally, where everyone seems to be obsessed with feelings but not about the real human experience.
“Being human isn’t just about how we’re feeling, it’s the ability to express ourselves and make better choices than the ones we’ve made before.”
ADHD gIRL
The real human experience isn’t just about how your feeling, it’s the choices you make that lead to the types of experiences you have. The annoying thing society has got our feelings so interlinked with our choices that now appear to be the same thing. Of course, those of you who get the impulsiveness side of ADHD will try and tell me that sometimes they feel like the same thing for us, and I’d totally understand where you were coming from.
It’s not easy being ruled by your emotions which us ADHDers often are, but we’re living in a world where people are displaying little emotion but still base their choices on how they are feeling. That is potentially quite dangerous for us, because we get confused with the whole social convention thing anyway half the time. At least when we make a choice based on a feeling we are emotionally open about it, which means we’re not carrying any baggage with it or double standards. I do have a coping strategy to help deal with my impulsve side, but I wouldn’t really recommend it. It usually involves me disconnecting from my emotions and just freezing in a situation until I can process later.
Sadly, some children with ADD tend to mask their feelings/ behaviours by copying others so they can fit in easily. Heck some adults even do this too and if they can I take my hat off to them as I’ve never been able to conform to that degree…that takes a lot of mental energy. There are also people with genuine social conditions that struggle to display emotion and I supose we do to a certain extent sometimes, especially when overwhelemed. However, we should always strive to do better where possible.
“Impulsiveness is one of the hardest parts of ADHD to overcome because you are literally having to retrain your brain!”
ADHD gIRL
My point in all of these guys, is whether like me you’re emotionally open or you’re have managed to keep yourself more reserved, don’t attribute negative thoughts with your feelings. How you feel is not who you are, and sometimes all our feelings are is a mixture of chemicals. Also, try not to base your choices on how you’re feeling in one moment, but take some time to really explore what you think about it. If you are impulsive that’s easier said than done but as always don’t give up. The more times we do something, the more times we are retraining our brain to form new connections, and this makes us easier for next time.
Sorry for the length of this blog post, I did try to keep it to a minimum but probably like you all I have far too much emotional baggage. I just feel extremely fortune that I can express some of it in these blog posts and in my novels. Keep expressing yourself guys, being emotionally open can be a good thing, just as long as you don’t make emotional choices. Take care everyone!!
