This is going to sound like the biggest cliché ever, but have you ever had that time in your life when everything seems to be going right for once? Like the stars are aligned and all is right with the universe when suddenly there is that one spiteful jerk or event that suddenly makes it all comes crashing down? Have you worked out what this blog article is about yet?
After uploading my last blog article where I told you my focus was all over the place and I just felt like I could get nothing done, well last week was great. I don’t know if it was because I took the pressure of myself to focus or actually found my focus again, but either way, I was happy.
Then came Saturday! It started out like anything other day……and then one of my so-called neighbours started a chain of events that have made the last few days pretty stressful. Out of respect for all involved, I won’t be going in to too much detail on here, but let’s just say ‘don’t judge until you know the whole story’ is very applicable here.
“Taking back control doesn’t mean that you are giving up or that you don’t care. It means you won’t allow yourself to be defined by any one person or situation.”
ADHD gIRL
It’s amazing how much power you can give a situation or person without meaning to, like you tell yourself that you know what really happened and that other people are being vindictive or something, but you still allow it space in your head. How can it not take up space in your head when you have ADHD and a brain that likes to overthink things? Well read on to find out more.
After two and a half days of stressing, praying, being rundown, unwell and generally being in emotional turmoil, I made a conscious decision to gain a fresh perspective. The thing is whether you are going through difficult trials, putting up with horrible people or just in a down right awful situation what it really boils down to is this; what you can control vs what you can’t control.
I suddenly realised that I couldn’t changed what had happened, I couldn’t do anything about my neighbour making a bad judgement and nothing I can do hereafter will change the pending outcome. How stressed I allow it to make me? the time I give to thinking about it, what I actually know about the situation! That’s all within my control and I choose to not allow anybody, or anything control my narrative.
“So many of us allow ourselves to be treated poorly, because we think it’s all we deserve. Actually we all deserve a basic amount of humancy decency which includes respect and kindness.”
ADHD gIRL
Many years ago I learnt on two very different interesting modules at university that we all have a certain amount of power within us. One module was all about leadership and how you having power doesn’t mean you have to take it from anybody else. The other module was a hippy-type optional course on mentoring, and how you can access your own power without relying on other people.
Firstly hat do I mean by power and how does it apply to ADHD I hear you ask? Well the power I’m referring to is where you get your inner confidence from I suppose someone would say or that thing that makes you fight for yourself in terms of how your treated by others. Goodness knows that with having ADHD we’ve had our fair share of fights, fighting to get diagnosed, fighting against the people who doubt us and just basically fighting daily to stay on track.
“Power is that inner confidence, that sense of self-worth that tells you actually I deserve more than what’s being offered here.”
ADHD gIRL
My biggest advice in terms of maintaining and building your power is don’t allow somebody else to be where you draw it from. That might be difficult for those people in long term relationships and there is definitely nothing wrong with emotional s support. I suppose the issue is when you draw your power from other people, then you are settling for the conditions they place on you. Now I’m not here to tell anybody where to get their power from, mine comes heavily from my faith but also my integrity. You might find yours from your favourite book or movie, a belief whether it be faith based or underpinned by values, it might even be a place where you go to recharge your power battery so to speak.
“Everybody whether you have ADHD or not, is worth so much more than we ever give ourselves credit for. We just need to remind ourselves what we can achieve when we have the right people around us and the right support.”
ADHD gIRL
To sum it up, I took back my power in this situation of difficulty and uncertainty and I’m not about to let anybody take it back because I control my own narrative, nobody else is telling my story for me. I know the truth; I know that I always strive to do my best in all circumstances and as long as I know that, then anything else that comes along is just out of my control.
Yes, of course, I’m happy to listen to advice, grow and change, admit to my mistakes like we all should, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to bend over backwards to please anybody either. Anybody who genuinely cares, who are decent and kind people, they’ll respect me and support me in this journey. Anybody who doesn’t, why would I stress about them? Why would I give them my most precious commodities; my time, my energy, my power to people who just want to tear me down? It would be exhausting and leave me powerless!
Have a good week ahead ADHDers and allies! I hope you feel empowered! And if you don’t….well you now know what to do!
Note: Apologies for the rather long blog article this week; I’ll keep it short and sweet next week I promise!
One thought on “Taking my Power Back!”
I have ADHD and this is the first article I’ve read that’s written by someone else who has ADHD.
Right away I can relate to everything you wrote about. Trying to explain myself to people is almost impossible. The best I can say is that: “It’s hard for me to put into words, so another person can understand, what is chrystal clear in my mind.”
I’m often misunderstood in my words and my ways, always in a negative way.
Thank you for writing, please continue, your putting ADHD into words far better than I !